ON SAYING “NO”

Good freaking morning. I finally have more than a minute this morning, and I am in heaven. I’ve already put in almost a normal week’s (for me) worth of hours this week, and I needed a little extra time this morning. There’s just something magical about sleeping in a little, snuggling your man and enjoying your coffee. And since I don’t usually have Saturday for that, Thursday works just fine.

I love two piece sets like this one I wore last week in Cabo. They’re just like a romper or dress, so easy to throw on and don’t require much accessorizing. Fun fact, I ended up wearing this one backwards. It was a little low in the front, and I could’ve made it work with a bralette but I didn’t want to be tugging on it all night. It comes in a few other colors, and I linked a few other ones below too! Shein has so many good ones. I just got another one that I’m taking on another trip next week!

Now to get a little deep with ya’ll. (Great transition, Christine. Mom/Your lifelong teacher would be proud. 😛 )

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the practice of saying no and possibly disappointing people. I am one hundred percent a people pleaser. I want to be the girl that can do it all, accommodate all my clients, make time for all my friends, workout, cook dinner, keep my house clean, run this blog, and spend time with my hubs. But lately I’ve really been praying that God would help me to be ok with saying no and knowing that sometimes I might actually even disappoint people. But I suck at that. I worry that people will be upset with me when I do say no or that I’ll have to explain myself. Or that if I said no to a certain thing, but they see me doing something else, they will judge me for that thing I’m doing. And the reality is that some people may end up judging me or being disappointed. But I need to learn to be ok with that. I want to sow into things that are life giving to my soul and bring me rest and peace. And sometimes too much yes on my end robs me of that. I’m reading Shauna Niequist’s book Present Over Perfect, and she has a few chapters on this subject, and it really resonated with me. She talks about how “no” remakes your life from the inside out. “I don’t know a way to remake anything without first taking down the existing structures, and that’s what no does-it puts the breaks on your screaming-fast life and gives you the chance to stop and inspect exactly what you’ve created for yourself, as difficult as that might be.” She also advises to “draw close to people who honor your no, cheer you on for telling the truth, who value your growth more than they value their own needs getting met”. I want a life that is full of just that, life. And joy. I don’t want to be so overcommitted or stressed out from too much “Yes” that I don’t have time to really enjoy life. And I want to be ok with the fact that my doing that might not make sense to some people. But for me a life spent rushing all over that always answers the question, “How are you?” with “Busy”, is not what I want. And ultimately saying no gives you freedom. Freedom to say YES to the things that really matter and give you life. Like cuddles and coffee with your hubs on Thursday morning. Or taking off on a second trip really close to your last trip because you want to spend time with your best friend and celebrate her birthday. And so much more. God calls us to more than just busy, and that’s no way to really live life. So let’s work on our “no’s” together, shall we? Because you never know what you might end up being able to say YES to.

 

I’m off to snag some more cuddles with my hubby and go for a run before work!

xoxo,

Christine

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Christine Benentt

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